I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
So squirting runs in the family.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
