fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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