what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize