i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
