I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
