I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
