Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
