i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
