Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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