It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
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I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
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Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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