i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
