I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
