You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
