And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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