My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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