I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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