Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I love having hate sex.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
