I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize