I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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