So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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