I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I enjoy the company of your penis
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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