so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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