I'm eating all of the evidence.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
