Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
