You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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