i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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