just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
