What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
