Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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