Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
