it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
