I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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