I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
