kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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