She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
