Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
