PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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