Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
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The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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