So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
