Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
