Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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