This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
