how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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