I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
