I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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