just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
