This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
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You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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