You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
