you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize