we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
