Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize