I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
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Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
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