i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Will exercising make me less horny?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
