i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
