If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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