I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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