my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
