Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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