Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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