You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
