WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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