nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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