So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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