Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
