Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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